Update on life....again lol

Hello everyone! I haven't posted in quite a while-not that anyone actually reads these-but I'll post for me lol.

Lets see here, I got a new van:) My car overheating? Was NOT the thermostat-it was a blown head gasket:/ Which would have cost more than I  paid for the car. So I put a downpayment on a 2004 Ford Freestar. It's silver and I love it! I have to get new brake pads soon though-they're squeeky lol.

My semester ended almost 2 weeks ago now. I ended up with 3 B's:) I'm super happy with it! Next semester, I'm taking Billing and Coding and Admin 2. Should be a pretty easy-ish semester!

Since my semester ended, I've worked SO much! Which is good because for a while there-I wasn't making it at alllll. I was getting maybe 40-50 hours on my paycheck and this next one should have about 76 on it! And now, with a van payment and full coverage insurance-I NEED the extra money for sure!

Christmas was good. The girls got everything they wanted I think. Plus a ton of clothes-which helps out!

I was dating a guy for a bit. He just wouldn't get his life together and was a total jerk about a LOT of things so I ended that-on Christmas Eve....whoops haha.

So, that's life for now!! I'm sure I won't update for a long wile-as usual lol.

Well, that's life:/

Well, things as of late, have kind of sucked. Not everything I guess, just little crap that has turned into BIG crap:/ My car keeps over heating for one. And everyone says it's probably just the thermostat, which is a cheap fix, but I can't find anyone to actually come DO it. So that sucks. I have to miss school tomorrow because of it. Plus miss Peyton is sick again with Croup, so she can't go to daycare anyway. I'm actually at home now, instead of work where I should be. Oh well. My babies come first of course. I just HATE letting work down:(

Hopefully I'll be getting my loans through school soon so I can put a downpayment on a car! I need a new one anyway:)

Hope anyone who reads this is having a lovely day!!

Weight and lumps:-/

So, first thing, in the last 2 months or so, I've gained almost 20 of the 52lbs I had lost in the last year, back. It sucks. So im going on a liquid fast for the next few days. Maybe that will get me back on track. I hope.

This morning, in the shower, when I was washing, I felt something on my breast. So I did a self examination and sure enough, there's a lump:( Its on the top side of my breast and its hard. It doesn't hurt and its not huge but it's big enough that i can feel it just my brushing up against my breast. Im trying to find a place that will give a free examination but so far, no luck. If anyone even reads my posts, will you just say a little prayer for me? I have 2 little girls who need me and I can't go through something like this right now. Anyways, just wanted to write it out. Thanks for listening....if anyone is...

Trying to find my way

Well, I ended up not having such a good birthday:/ Annabelle was SO sick, she couldn't even move hardly, because of a migraine. Called her DR office and they told me to get her to the ER immediately. So I did, freaking out of course. Chad was at work, so I called his girlfriend, Samantha (the whore as I still sometimes call her....even though it's been less and less....more on that later) and she came to pick up Peyton for me. She went to get Chad from work and fed miss Peyton too and brought her back and they stayed with both girls so I could go get Annabelle's RX and food for her. Ok, now that I went off track, back to the story. They did a strep test on Annabelle which ended up coming back positive, which is why she had such a migraine. At one point, her HR was up to 141 which REALLY freaked me out. But they said it was from the fever, thank God! So that's how I spent my Birthday:( But it's ok. My babygirl is alright and that's all that matters:)

Ok, so about...her. Things have been better lately. We haven't gotten into it in a while, which I'm sure means it's gonna happen soon. I'm hoping I nipped the problem by switching up work a bit so I can have the girls home with me every day during the week. Besides, school is starting in 3 days (EEEKKKK I have a 4th grader!!) so it'll be better for Annabelle to stay at home for that:) I'm trying to keep my cool about things that I can't control. Like Chad's place. He smokes INSIDE his apt with the girls and they both have asthma so I get PISSED but there's nothing I can do about it. So I'll just keep them here with me, where it's safe for them for the most part lol. But It's KILLING Chad that he goes 5 days without seeing them. And I get it. He's a good dad, other than that part. I feel bad but it's what's for the best.

I started going back to church in July. I've only missed one week due to a wedding and work since I started going back. I love being there. I just hope I can find my way soon. I need to buy a new bible. But they're SO expensive! Guess that's going to have to wait for now!

My fall semester starts on August 20th. I'm excited to get back but nervous too. If I can't seem to pull my GPA up and ace these 3 classes, it's over for me! So I'm going to have to work REALLY  hard to fix what I let Chad destroy. I can do it, I know I can!

I'm hoping to get enough in FA/loans to get a new car. I know mine isn't gonna last too much longer and I kind of NEED a car to get to/from classes and work! Please let my car last until then!

I'm thinking I'm going to take the girls to the pool today. As long as it warms up a bit! Today is the last day I'll have off until next Monday, when I start school back up!

A long time coming.....

So, I haven't written since November 9, 2011. It is now, July 18, 2012. These last 8 months have been some of the hardest I have ever been through. Not only that I have been through, but what my girls have been through too. It's still hard to get used to the "new normal" around here. Every other day, my girls are with their dad. Which is ok, I guess. I love that they spend so much time with him, but I hate....no despise....her. the "whore" as I have named her. Yes, mean, I know. But that's what she is to me. A homewrecking whore. Now, don't get me wrong, I dont' want Chad back...at all. But she treats my kids like crap and he lets her. And right now, I have no choice but to let her be around them. After August 6th though, unless he talks to her and makes her stop, he won't be getting them as much as he is now. They will be home, where they belong. Gosh I sound like a bitter hag:/ Oh well. I love my babies. And will do anything to make sure they're happy again.

I got a job 2 days after my last post on here. I work in a nursing home as a CNA and in the Activities dept as well. Oh and transportation too. I drive the bus to appointments the residents have. Not all of them and not all the time, but sometimes:) I really love it. I'm also starting classes back up, after taking the summer off. The last 2 semesters have REALLY sucked for me. So it's time to step up my game for real now. I have to ace all 3 classes for me to keep my FA and if I don't, these last 2 years would have been for nothing. And I can't let that happen. He took everything else from me. I won't let him take this too.

Personally, I've been sort of a mess. Found a guy that I fell hard and fast for, but he chose someone else because...well because he's an idiot I guess. He has his reasons and I get it, but it still sucks. That's the first time I really put myself out there for a guy and he hurt me. Bad. But it's ok. Someday, I'll find someone who deserves me AND my kiddos:) Until then, I have my girls! They really are the best part of me and I love them to death!!

Alright, I'm going to get to bed and try to sleep. I have no kids and no work tomorrow...hmm should have thought about that earlier. I could have had a drink for once!! LOL! Oh well. My birthday is Monday, so maybe I'll get one soon:)

My girls on 4th of July