*sigh*

So these past few days have been rough. He and I got into ANOTHER big fight, only this time, I didn't start it and there was NO reason for it at all. PLUS he won't give me any money now. So I have NO idea what I'm going to do. (sn-he just told me that he paid the landlord $125 and paid the water bill, is buying the baby diapers and toothpaste, and gave me $20-so at least that's SOMETHING) I mean I have plans that have been set into motion, but I can only go as fast as the state goes. I'm honestly afraid I'm going to have to quit school. Or at least drop this semester. I just don't WANT to. But I can't concentrate AT ALL. My grades have slipped horribly and it's just NOT happening for me this semester. I'm also afraid I'm going to have to change majors:-( I want to be a nurse SO badly but you HAVE to get an A in Anatomy and Physiology and right now, I'm NOT getting an A. Plus, you can only take it twice ever and I already dropped it in the spring due to accidentally signing up for an 8 week semester....whoops! And I guess that counted as 1 time:-( We'll see how it goes but I just may need to do it.

The other problem is I NEED a job. Christmas is coming up soon and I need to pay rent as of December 1st. I have it paid through November due to financial aid and loans but couldn't pay Dec/Jan because of having to pay the late rent and fees. So I paid $3000 for rent from July-November and he paid $125. Fair? I think NOT. Especially after all hes done to me.

Oh well. Things emotionally are getting better at least. I KNOW that I deserve WAY better than that and I know someday, I'll find it. It's just REALLY hard because I still love him, even though I don't WANT to. I'm sure with time, that will go away mostly, but he IS the father of my child(ren....hopefully he'll still adopt her) and I will always love him in a way.

I went to his cousin's wedding last night (he did NOT go) with the girls, and we had a BLAST! She looked AMAZINGLY beautiful!! I am So happy for them! And I made it through the wedding, only crying once! I'm pretty proud of myself haha!!

Alright, Well I'll leave you with a couple of pics from last night:-)

 Annabelle and I

Trying to keep Peyton quiet in church 

Peyton and mommy 



The happy couple:-) 

Me at the wedding 



Me again:-) 

She loves her mommy! 

Miss Annabelle:-)

Thanks for reading everyone!!